You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.
You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. I hope I didn't brain my damage. What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
- And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.
- D'oh.
- Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son."
Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
- Duffman can't breathe! OH NO!
- This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."
- Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… Please do not offer my god a peanut.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention! Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! Save me, Jeebus. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.